~Ventilation System~

Do you ever have those days?
Yeah, you know what I mean. Don't deny it.
Well, I had all those feelings, emotions, and stupid people in an hour.
Yeah, an hour.

Where do I even start?
Do you even care?
Well, you're here reading this so you get to hear about it!

So, this morning started out pretty great. I didn't have to work until 5 so I had the WHOLE day to just be lazy and productive. My two favorite things.
So, I watched a couple episodes of Once Upon a Time.
Did a math assignment.
Did a housekeeping management assignment.
Went for a run.
Did some more homework.
Watched some more Once.

Eventually, I showered and got ready for work. I was feeling pretty good about my day.
I didn't feel so great going to work, but I figured it was just hunger, exhaustion, and probably me denying the fact that I didn't want to go to work.

Tuesday night is my night to manage so I was happy when I saw that I had a pretty good group going for the night.
But, I didn't get the memo.
What memo?
Oh, the let's be stupid memo.
Seriously. Being an employee at Pizza Factory is NOT hard. It's just not. But sometimes the people I work with act like it's rocket science.
It's not.
And don't even get me started on the stupid customers who think they can get a deliver and NOT PAY FOR THEIR FOOD. Yeah, that happened.
Why did it happen? Because the delivery driver got lost and had to call and get better directions.
Seriously? Do they not realize that's S.T.E.A.L.I.N.G.????
I mean, really? And then to yell at me about it? You just got $30 worth of free pizza you jerk!

So, I finally get closed and head home. On my way home the waterworks start.
I cry.
A lot.
Like more than the average female.

I think it has been coming for a while.
That, and like I said, I cry a lot.

I'm so overwhelmed right now that I think it all just got caught in this wall I put up.
Well Kav, the dam broke and boy, did it flood.
School started last week and I forgot how time consuming it is.
I realized how much I don't have friends here. I mean, I have Carissa. She's my best friend. But, she's also married and her husband is always there. I get that, sometimes I just need a friend I can talk to without her husband piping in. I need single friends. Heck, I need a boyfriend!
Driving home tonight, I realized I just want someone to talk to that isn't my mom. My mom is always there and she is seriously my best friend right now. But, I need more. I need to be outgoing and make friends.
I need to prioritize my life for school, work, friends, ironman training, etc. It's all so time consuming and I feel like I can't figure out how to juggle it anymore even though I've been doing it for years.
Something is going to give soon if I don't figure something out.

I don't know what it is...
Maybe a friend will come along.
Maybe the days will magically get longer.
Maybe I can just give up.

All I can do now is keep up the hard work and remember to pray. It's all I have going for me right now. It just has to be enough until I can get through this.

Life can be so rough. But it can also be SO good.
Let's just hope a good patch it coming.

I could use it.

Sorry for the venting. This is my only place to do so.

Until my next breakdown :)

So, I Wanna Be a Triathlete...

As many of you may know, this weekend was was the St. George Half Ironman. The STG course is a really popular one for triathletes and Ironman junkies in general. We get lots of cool people in town for the event.

My dad happens to be one of those crazy people that does those kind of things... He got the bug kind of out of nowhere. He started running and loved it... he then got a bike and loved that. At first the STG Ironman was a full. They then changed it to the half and my dad thought to himself: "Hey, I could do that." So, he started the swim training and added that into his workout routine.

I had the chance to help at one of the Aid Stations yesterday for the biking portion of the Ironman at mile 40 (out of 56). Dave (my PF boss) was in charge of the Aid Station so my mom and I met him at 6am the morning of and set up the signs going up Snow Canyon. We spent literally hours handing out water bottles, holding bikes while riders took a potty break, threw out gu's and bonk breakers, etc. The thing that got me was the incredible people I saw I kept thinking how amazing they were to do this. So many overweight people were competing and doing a pretty good job. I kept thinking to myself: "If they can do it, I could do it."

As most people know, I'm a seriously emotional person. Just thinking of it and watching riders go by, I was literally crying. As my dad rode by, he stopped for a second to fuel up and and say "hi". That, for some reason, hit me. My dad had knee surgery for a torn meniscus about a month and half ago and he still did it!




Anyway, after Dad passed us at the Aid Station we stayed for another hour or so to help out and then headed home to pick up McKinlee. We got lunch at Kneaders and made our way up towards Turtle Road to wait for Dad at the run.



We sat at the curb and watched for Dad's yellow jersey. As we sat there and watched we saw people sweating, struggling, and just pushing themselves to make it the next 6 miles to the finish line.



My mom turns and says to me: "Makes you want to do it, doesn't it?" She was obviously being sarcastic, but I turn to her and say: "Actually, I've been thinking about it, and I want to do it next year."

It takes her a second, but she realizes I'm serious and get's kind of excited for me.

We see my dad and meet him by the race track to talk to him super quick before he finished.



So, it comes down to the fact that I've spent all day looking up tips and tricks for starting the training and calculating how much money I'm going to be spending on this super expensive sport.
But, as hard as it's going to be and as terrified as I am, I'm so excited to get fit.

After losing 30 pounds, I feel like I'm kind of stuck in getting back on track and losing the last 25 I want to throw away, this is the way.

Habits

I have this habit of sometimes just wanting to post something... Even though there isn't much to talk about...

Except... there is one thing... kind of a big thing...
Did I ever tell you about my moving home or staying in Provo dilemma?
Well, remember how I decided to stay in Provo and work my new position with Marriott at least through the summer? Turns out, that's not what the Lord had in store for me. Once I realized I needed to examine my decision I easily discovered that the answer was to move home.

I know. Backtracking and all, right?
You can think that if you want, but honestly, I have so many opportunities open to me in St. George. With PF and the position Dave has offered me and I'm going to get so much hands on experience with every side of the restaurant. Working with the owners, managers, employees, etc. Things I would be able to do with a larger corporate company like Marriott.

This way, living at home I can save tons and tons of money. And once I finish school in about a year, I have that money saved to move or go wherever my degree takes me.

Have I told you how much I love my major? Hospitality Management was definitely the perfect fit for me. And there is so much I can do with it. Event planning, hotel management, restaurant management, Human Resources, etc, etc, etc...

I think that my future either lies with PF or Disney though.

Isn't that crazy? I thought I would NEVER go back to PF. Ever.
But, the Lord has a strange way of making things happen.

Oh! Disneyland again this weekend! For my mom's birthday! And then, three weeks later with some of my best friends! Three trips in 2.5 months? I will call that a success! Heck yes! We want to get another trip in before Ky graduates the program too!
She's loving it there! And she's learning so much! When she comes back she is moving 10 days later up to Ogden to go to Weber! She'll finish her degree in Theatre Education. She's going to be the best drama teacher ever! Oh! And her missionary comes home in September! Pretty much convinced she's going to marry the boy!

I've spent the last couple days sick as a dog. I got the flu. Or food poisoning. Or something awful and spend Saturday night and all day Sunday at the toilet and/or in bed. I'm feeling much better but my supervisor had called me yesterday and told me to stay home today and recover. Love her. What a life-saver.

I got a lot of packing done. Have I ever mentioned how much stuff I have? Yeah...Uhm, it's a problem. I really need to be better about not having so much crap. It's totally not okay.

Anyway, time for bed me thinks!
TTYL

Disneyland Trip (Spring 2014)

Honestly, the whole world knows I'm completely in love and obsessed with Disneyland. As I've mentioned a couple posts ago, Ky is doing The Disney College Program in Anaheim right now. A couple weeks ago my family got to go visit her.
For my holiday party at Marriott I got really lucky and won a 3 night and breakfast for two stay at the Anaheim Marriott.
Meant. To. Be.

We went to the park on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Friday and Saturday it rained a majority of the time, but we didn't care! How can you when you're at the Happiest Place on Earth? The nice thing is that the rain scares away the Californians so the park was dead and lines were practically nonexistent.

Dad had surgery about a week before the trip on his knee, so we had a good time pushing him around in a wheelchair. We also had a pretty cool experience on Radiator Springs Racers. We had finally gotten on the ride after waiting in line for almost two hours (totally worth the wait). We were just to the part where you start the race and the car stops. We are stopped on the ride for about five minutes when we finally get to finish the ride. As we got to the start of the ride, the cast member told us we could stay in the car and ride it again because it had been stalled for so long. Of course we took him up on the offer. But, as luck would have it, about a minute into the ride it stops again. This time, the music and all the characters die and the lights of the ride are turned on. A cast member then come on the intercom to tell us that the ride had to be evacuated and another cast member would be with us shortly to help us out.

Our cast member showed up and we got the cool chance to walk through Radiator Springs Racers. We were then given fast passes to return later that day. So, in the end we got to ride it 2.5 times for waiting in line once! It was great fun!

I wouldn't say that anything extremely exciting or magical happened, except for the given things. Disney makes me happy. I can honestly say it is my happy place.

I have no idea where my life will lead me, but it's always the magic for me and other people that Disney creates that helps me realize that I could be happy there. But, I've also got Marriott and an offer from Dave that might bring me back to St. George.

We'll see.

I miss my family A LOT, so I know I would be happy living at home, but my social life here in Provo is thriving and I would miss that a lot.

But, aside from all of that, I'm really just grateful for the people in my life as well as the opportunities I have been able to take advantage of.

Hop In My Chrysler It's As Big As A Whale

Sometimes living in Provo is super fun! Okay, honestly, as long as I'm not thinking about living in St. George I LOVE living in Provo. This last weekend our ward did an 80's Formal.
The committee did such a great job with the decorations, music, etc. It was exactly what high school dances are.
Awkward slow songs.
Fun dancing with the girls.
Strange photo background.

All. Of. It.

Ready for some photos? Of course you are!

A little Texas and a little Disney College Program

Alright, it's time... I've started a blog post many times in the last however long, and in the end it just doesn't feel right, so I delete and say I'll do it late. Well, later is finally here.

Let's start with the fact that my mom was offered a job in Texas. At first, I was ecstatic for her. It then didn't take me long to realize how big of a change that would actually mean for ME. Selfish right? You bet it was! The insecurities and worries about my family possibly being a 24 hour drive away was something I kept to myself through this whole thing. I knew if I told my mom I was terrified that she would drop it.

She and my dad flew out to Texas to check out the mall property and look at neighborhoods. My mom said that the second they got off the plan in Houston she knew they wouldn't be moving there. The spirit prompted her so strongly that they shouldn't move there. They enjoyed a week away, all the while knowing they probably wouldn't be coming back.

I can't explain to you how grateful I was for that. I was praying for comfort...especially if they had decided to take the job.

Next order of business: well, there is the usually crazy that comes with a new semester. With this new semester comes a new adventure for Kylee. She checked into Carnegie Plaza in Anaheim last Monday and has started the Disney College Program. I. Am. So. Jealous. She is going to be amazing! She is working in retail on Buena Vista Street in DCA. She has the CUTEST costume and loves her roommates!

She keeps telling me to not be jealous, but then I have to remind her that my experience with DCP was the beginning of the end of a great friendship. But, I loved every second in Anaheim. I definitely wouldn't be disappointed if my Hospitality Management degree put me back with Disney. Fact, I think I'd be the happiest girl on this earth.

~~~
Well, As long as it has been I feel like there isn't much new except for maybe the new semester. But don't you worry, I'll keep you all updated on my lack of excitement ;)

In Loving Memory of Glenna Lou Cox

I've been wanting to write this post for a long time, but I also knew that it was going to be a long and emotional one. Here I am, ready to write it all down.

If you know me well enough, you know that my grandma Cox was a huge part of my life. When she passed away… I was devastated. My sisters and I spent so much time with her, and to lose that was really hard.

For as long as I can remember, every summer, everyday, my mom would drive me and my sisters out to Hurricane to spend the day with Grandma and Grandpa. We did everything! Baked cookies, I learned how to crochet, played games, fed the bunnies, jumped on the tramp, went to Taco Time, and so much more. Sometimes I wonder how she kept us busy all day long, but I know that she loved every minute of it even if we were a crazy handful.

McKinlee had to chance to become really close with our cousin Kennedy (because they were both the same age) even though they were only babies, I know that the loving spirit my grandma provided was enough for what memories they have.

I'm so grateful to be one of the oldest grandchildren. I am one of the few that had a chance to really get to know her. Fact, out of all of us, I probably knew her the most. The couple older cousins I do have lived far away, and even I haven't seen them since the funeral (and that was almost ten years ago). It's so hard for me to think that so many of my adorable little cousins will never get to meet her… though, that isn't necessarily true. I know that she loves and gives them each a kiss before they are born.

My mom has worked at the Red Cliffs Mall for a very long time. She now holds the position as General Manager and she definitely deserves it. Before she was GM I'm not really sure what her official job title was, but she worked in the mall offices. Those summer days spent with my grandparents, would end with them dropping us off at the mall. We were for some reason always pretty early. So, we would sit outside on this little grassed area. I'm not sure what we talked about or did, but I remember lots of laughs, and to this day, that little corner spot (now gravel and not grass) will forever be special to me.

My grandma liked to spoil us. They didn't have a lot of money, but she did whatever she could to give us everything she could. Fact, when she first got sick, she ignored the pain and illness for a long time because they didn't have insurance and she knew it was something big, and that it was going to cost something just as big. It got to a point though where she couldn't ignore whatever was happening to her. She was diagnosed with cancer.

As a ten year old, I didn't really know what that mean or what that was, but I knew it was bad. I remember spending a lot of time at the hospital with my grandma. I was so confused and scared. The time she spent sick is a very big blur to me, but I think that is for a reason. I think that even though a lot happened while she was sick, my grandma would rather me remember that happy and fun times that we spent together.

One morning, toward the beginning of my 6th grade year, there was a phone call. Dad was working out of town at the time so my mom had to get the phone. I'm not sure what time it was, but I remember it was early. I couldn't hear the conversation, but I knew what it was. I knew that I was never going to see my grandma's smiling face again. I cried for hours. Maybe it wasn't hours but it sure felt like hours. I walked into my mom's room that morning ready to hear the news. I didn't tell her I knew, and to this day, she still doesn't know that I woke up that morning.

I can't help but think that my grandma woke me up that morning to tell me she was gone, but that she loved me so much, and that she was in an incredible place. I can't be sure though.

There is so much that I wish my grandma could be here to experience. She missed high school graduation, she will miss college graduation. She will miss me getting married and having kids...but at the same time, I know that she hasn't missed a beat. She has been here through it all, and she is never going to stop.

I'm so grateful that I had the grandmother I did. That woman was incredible. She taught me to love the gospel, and taught me how to love the people around me. I can't wait to be with her again someday to talk and catch up. That day is far away, but it's something I will always look forward to.

In loving memory of Glenna Lou Cox